thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
