Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
