Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
