they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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