You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
40s are totally the cure
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I am mentally ready for anal.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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