so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
