the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
