Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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