his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Alive.
So much puke
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
