Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
