I faked an abortion last night.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
