did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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