he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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