So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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