dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
