Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.