C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
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found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
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I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode