handjob tips. give me some.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
