Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
