ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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