i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
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Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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