He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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