I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
