I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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