Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
