If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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