no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Randomize
