I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
