You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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