Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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