i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
