im six kinds of drunk right now
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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