I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't think brook has ever known best
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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