It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize