remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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