I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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