Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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