i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize