when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Randomize
