when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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