FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize