Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
