I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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