Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
