the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize