Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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