Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Someone signed my nipple.
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