You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
