If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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