They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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