If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
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Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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