Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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