I'm jealous of your bromance
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
