Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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