Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
