At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
