i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
