Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
