Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize