I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
