I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
