Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Fuck appropriateness.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
