Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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