I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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