That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
