Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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