Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize