I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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