What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Two words: blizzard sex
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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